did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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