just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
