so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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