i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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