i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I FOUND THE LEGS
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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