I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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