Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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