But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
