You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
