If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
