There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
