Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
