Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
