just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
