I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
