how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I enjoy the company of your penis
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