guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
