she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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