he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
