Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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