do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
