but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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