dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
