There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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