belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
