miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
