do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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