Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
