So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
These tits shall not be calmed
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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