i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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