if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
