Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
