WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm too high and old for this...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
