Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
