did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
