So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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