I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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