Even water is tasting like jack daniels
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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