i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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