my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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