So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
