its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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