Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
