if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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