I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
