I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
This toilet bowl is my home.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
