i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
