wrigley field is MILF paradise
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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