please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
