even my farts smell like vagina
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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