I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
