chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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