only if we run a train.
done.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
