dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
