Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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