Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
