He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I can't turn off my feet"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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